Aalice.545 net.jokes utzoo!decvax!harpo!npois!alice!sjb Sun May 2 17:47:23 1982 Yiddish Encounter A man walked into Cortney's and Cortney's Deli, a very posh establishment on the corner of nth street and xth avenue. He said to the clerk, ``Do you have any bagels?'' The clerk looked very puzzled and said (in a very posh voice, of course), ``Bagels, sir? Hmmmmmmmmmm... I'll have to check.'' So he picked up the telephone and, after getting an answer, said ``Cortney, this is Cortney; a gentleman would like to know if we have bagels ... We do? [to the man] How many would you like, sir?'' ``Three dozen please'' ``Three dozen, Cortney. Yes, thank you. [to the man] Will there be anything else?'' ``Yes,'' said the man, ``I'd like some cream cheese.'' ``Cream cheese?'', said the clerk (again puzzled), ``I'll have to check and see if we have any.'' He picked up the telephone again and said (again, after receiving an answer), ``Cortney, this is Cortney. This same gentleman would like to know if we have any cream cheese ... We do? [to the man] How much would you like, sir?'' ``A pound, please.'' ``Yes, a pound, Cortney. Yes, thank you. [to the man] Will there be anything else?'' ``Yes,'' said the man, ``I'd like some lox.'' ``Lox?'', said the clerk (very puzzled this time), ``How do you spell that... oh, just a minute; I'll check and see if we have some.'' He picked up the phone, again getting an answer, and said, ``Cortney, this is Cortney. The same gentlemen would like some lox. Do we have some? We do? [to the man] How much, sir?'' ``A half pound, please.'' ``Yes, a half pound, Cortney. Thank you. [to the man] Will there be anything else, sir?'' ``No, that's all thank you,'' said the man. ``Very well, sir; where would you like this all shipped?'' ``No need to ship it,'' said the man, ``I'll take it with me.'' ``What?!?!'' exclaimed Cortney, ``You're going to schlep all this with you?!'' ----------------------------------------------------------------- gopher://quux.org/ conversion by John Goerzen of http://communication.ucsd.edu/A-News/ This Usenet Oldnews Archive article may be copied and distributed freely, provided: 1. There is no money collected for the text(s) of the articles. 2. The following notice remains appended to each copy: The Usenet Oldnews Archive: Compilation Copyright (C) 1981, 1996 Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.